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tv   Red Eye  FOX News  May 28, 2011 3:00am-4:00am EDT

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welcome to "red eye." he is still recouperating in the emergency room. the label did say external use only. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. andy, what's coming up on tonight's show? >> and welcome to the terror dome, america. our top story, an elementary school principal finds himself under investigation for delivering birthday spankings to his students. we will have an interview with president gutfeld coming up. and a new journal finds it insulting to refer to your pets as pets. we will find out if it is eye rolling. and a new study finds out white people believe they are the victims of racism more than black people do.
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we will discuss this over the laughter. >> thank you, andy. >> happy international jazz day. >> in honor of international gas day, i will be doing a lot of skating. >> you mean singing nonsense sill labelles so this -- sill bells so it sounds like an instrument? >> see you later. >> let's welcome our guest. she is so hot fire wears diana falzone pajamas. i am here with diana falzone. military .com roup expert and co-host of "maxim"'s dvd afro deesh yak. and he grades on your curves. he is at columbia university and he has his office hours at a hampton's inn off route 11. anyway, when he showed up to work someone wrote wash me on his back. it is bill shultz. she is sexy and sassy and a convicted murderer. next to me, the great comedian
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nick de paulo. and he slings mud and spouts crud. good to see you pinch. >> today the times' elizabeth rosen thal says that 20 to 25% of seafood products are actually mislabeled. also mislabeled, the new york daily news. it is not new york and does not provide news. discuss. >> that was a cheap shot. >> are you a cheap shot. >> i guess i am. >> is he getting a bad wrap for a friendly tap? and should he be success spended for all of the kids he offended? i speak of an iowa elementary school principal who is being investigated forgiving birthday spankings to students. he calls them birthday whammies, and he used a hockey stick wrapped in styrofoam or what i call tuesday. some stupid parents complained. they said one day -- said one dad, quote that, is not a
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celebration. it is being sub serve gent to a dominating figure. and in a letter he described the, quote, pat on the backside as a birthday tradition. apparently he celebrated each birthday with the announcement and invitation to his office. he gave pencils and calculaters and spanked them once for each year of their lives. after that they jet off to cancun. don't worry, they would buy sunscreen when they got there. speaking of birthdays, this is my last celebration. >> he is the guy who brings the gun. professor, the spanking thing
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you do this with your college students. >> i honestly believe if you have a tradition it is okay to honor it. he wasn't hurting the kids. he had a styrofoam on top of a hockey stick. i think that is cool. i wish i could get spanked by the principal. >> that's why you don't have kids. >> i do have kids. >> oh, sorry. nick, here is the thing. i i just realized this guy is a genius. if you have some kind of weird quirk, you call it a tradition. it is kind of as a defense against people accusing you of doing something weird, right? >> but this is wrong, wrong, wrong. padding the stick is wrong. putting some heat on the kid's ass. you know, this could have an acceptable a few years ago, but in the country relive in with the -- do you think you
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are getting away with this? >> he is probably inspecting kids for 20 years? -- 20 years. didn't you get birthday whacks growing up? >> diana a lot of men offered to spank you, but it had nothing to do with birthdays. do you think it is a big deal? >> it is a big deal. i am the one with the stick up the you know what right now. honestly i think we are crossing the line and hesis acting like a disciplinary yuan. i don't want my kid go together s and m school and not regular school. it is not okay. >> is he trying to be the fun principal like jeffrey jones? >> yes -- well, jeffrey jones tried really hard. >> yes, he did. authorities are still investigating. >> he did a lot of his own research. >> i am against whammies
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because it was original. we had slam mes. and basically what slam mes are when a kid had a birthday you would pick up a slab of concrete and slam it against their school. >> did you say you were principal? >> not anymore. >> just because you have kids in your basement doesn't make you principal. >> there is a skewed sense of celebration here. for a reward you get spanked so for punishment does he make them cup cakes if they skip school? everybody got a punch for their birthday. it was birthday punches. >> that is healthy. >> a grown man you don't know very well, i don't know. if there is no money being exchanged, it is wrong. >> the only guy upset about it was a gay couple in the article. >> i didn't even get that far. >> this table is fragile.
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i think that means we should end this segment. from spanking to smacking. i sense a theme here. if she is behind a wheel, then pain she will feel. wow. this table is destroying me. that's the gisty fist of a new campaign on something called facebook calling for saudi men to beat ladies who drive during a planned protest on june 17th. it is against a kingdom's ban on women getting behind the wheel. and the violence has drawn 6,000 likes. to a page titled the ical campaign which is a reference for the word that men can beat their women with. it is a charming culture. on one women's rights page, quote, it is not a revolution. we are only requesting to drive our cars. who said you could talk, women. let's go live to king abdul law as he responds in his
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royal jacuzzi. >> that sounds like the name of a really, really nice bar. >> professor, you are a professor. should facebook take the page down knowing it is advocating violence against women. >> unlike you right wing nuts, i happen to like freedom of speech. you can have all the kind of things, i don't care. but as a facebook user i would just stop using facebook. i want the market to decide. we believe in free speech and guns.
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>> diane why do we give billions of dollars to certain cultureswho do crazy things? they are advocating violence against women for driving. i know you don't drive, but you like to drive. >> well, i do drive, drive people crazy. you talk about what is going on on the facebook page. there is a pro and a con regarding this in terms of the fact that we have -- the pro is we know it is out there. maybe there will be ving inteligence -- vigilance. it is banning together and giving each other empower meant. that's a positive. >> nick, can you respond without offending half of the population. >> why not all women? >> i knew you were going there. >> my wife had to parallel park and you would want to bury her up to her neck and
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throw rocks. >> terrible, terrible man. >> she has a chevy volt and has 15 feet on either side and can't get it in. how about a customer -- cerfew. >> let me just say as one w078 on the panel there are not a lot of good, defensive drivers in men. they like to curse and swerve and cut people off. >> i think men kill more people in cars than women, but women are more aggravating. >> and they can't stop us from driver. we are physically bigger. >> here is the real question. the real story behind this story is the taxi industry. women have jobs and they have -- they go shopping. who takes them? the taxis?
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>> they can spend more time over the gays. >> after i was a principal i wanted to start the children's educational programming. and the one i wanted to do was meet our allies, and this would be a great story for the saudi arabia episode. i am working on the pakistan episode and that is a noodle. >> i think there is -- there is no enforceable law. in the early 60s they couldn't go to school. >> women have jobs. >> from threats to pets or should i say companion animals. yes, i should. they say refering to animals as pets is insulting. and the first in the journal of animal ethics, they say that pet owners should be known as human careers, and that terms like critters, beasts and even wildlife are derogatory toward animals.
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instead of referring to animals as wild, they should be free riving, free ranging and free roaming. they say phrases like sly like a fox or eat like a pig is unfair to animals. writing, we should not be able to think clearly unless we discipline ourselves to useless than partial adjectives in our animals and moral relations with them. is he talking about intercourse? that's a sick, sick man. anyway, how do the animals themselves feel about this? >> they almost don't seem to care. it is like they don't understand english in the first place. stupid pets. i mean, companion animals. diana, i go to you. i bet you agree with these professors. >> i think they are a little extreme in someway. >> just a little? >> sly like a fox, neat as a
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pig, ridiculous. but the language plays a part as to how we treat the animals and not that they understand us. if you say someone is dumb, well you will talk down to them. my feeling is if we call them companion animals you may be a little more gentle. nick, what? >> she is so pretty. >> i find that attractive. >> why not come up with lives for these intellects like idiots. >> i think that is pretty appropriate. >> this comes from the left by the way. >> humane behavior, yes. >> insane behavior. >> on the way here i agreed. i was thinking, this is crazy. how can a pet be offended?
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i look at it differently now. when you think about it, you are more likely to hurt someone without feelings and emotions. it is easier to shoot an animal if you think it it is wild and crazy. >> but no matter what you call it it is wild. >> here is the problem. animals don't do wild things. let's be clear. animals don't do wild things. white people do wild things. >> when was the -- >> i prefer devil. >> when was the last time a black person was getting attacked by a tiger or chimp. they are not yeld wild. they are tigers. >> actually he is making a good point. you don't see a lot of blacks owning exotic april mall. >> what do we call it when blacks are in central park? wilding. >> i i didn't see it going in this direction. >> here is the point,
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seriously, if you treat animals as they are supposed to be treated there is no problem. the reason we call them wild and crazy is white people go to places human beings shouldn't be and they do stuff people shouldn't do. they say hoarks he is wild. he bit my face on. >> half of the argument i was agreeing with. >> i want to talk about one thing. when animals rise up and take over the world, and they will, this es are the people they will go after, the professors. >> they are going after the white people! >> remember the guy that thought the bear was so friendly and then the last five minutes was eaten alive by him. >> that guy was an idiot. he is like, look at me, i am dancing with a grizzly bear. >> what about the girl who got her face eaten by the chimp? she was white. >> the last time i talked about the many accomplish
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nents -- accomplishments -- i am starting over. charity, move it up a little bit. last night i told you how much i enjoyed the many accomplishments of our nation's windows. good job, windows, but i love chair thee. -- charity. this is a recreation of my mri when i had uh penicitis. turns out a tiny unicorn was growing. right now, get this, the winning bid is from patrick paw card who -- pickard and $20 for every push up bill can do. we decided to take up patrick and have bill do push ups earlier today. let's see how he did. >> so he has done a hundred. bill, you kept going. >> of course.
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a hundred? my mom can do a hundred. >> i have seen her do it. she used to be in the competitions before she joined the navy. we will check in later to see how much bill ended up doing later on the show and see how much money patrick owes. right now it is a lot of money. now to the new piece of art, this is a portrait of meg ryan as a unicorn. it was based on a dream. and it made sense. you have until next friday to make a bid. all of the money goes to taps, a nonprofit group that provides grief counseling and support programs of families with will faen soldiers. and it is not about charity. it is about me. it irks me i have to do all of this charity to prove. it. coming up, why are ugly people so depressing? we discuss diana's new book "keep your distance homely,
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losers" first, what is this guy doing? i am meeting him for drinks late tore find out and boy am i giving him a piece of my mind.
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let's check in and see where he is at. >> i have not yet begun to push up. >> it is for charity. >> i feel sorry for this guy. >> let's go to the greg-alogue for a rash of ridiculousness. >> so i hate doing stuff on the creepy casey anthony, the chick who might have killed her daughter. she scares me.
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but the lead attorney dropped a pile of bombshells in the courtroom that i call lies. first she claimed the baby drowned that was covered up by her dad. and casey was molested by her dad and brother. we show she was a liar fabricating tails. naturally facing the death penalty she turns on the people who went through hell protecting her. her poor dad, george, particularly offed himself after enduring the cr rap -- crap his off spring put him through. and now she is accusing him of ped daw feel yaw. why do i bring this up? it is because it is a sham created by rotten people to force their decent family members to accept the rotten behavior. wives are supposed to stick by murderous husbands and it is based on the idea that blood is thicker than water. it is not. when your kid is evil, it is tired for the parents to look at their daughter for what she is, a monster, deserving
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punishment. i subject prison, but i wouldn't want to inflict that torture on the other inmates. if you disagree with me, you sir are worse than hitler. professor, who says you have to stick by your family? where does this come from? >> i think it is an out molded idea. in general you should, but there are exceptions. >> i think raping and murdering and killing are a good line. >> genetically people refuse to believe somebody related to them is guilty. they can't admit their son or daughter is guilty. i don't get that. >> that makes complete sense though. they are admitting a terrible flaw within their genetic code which makes them themselves guilty for creating the hule being. -- the human being. >> what you admitted on the break, once you realize it is
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screwed, drop it, move on. don't think about him anymore. make him dead to you. >> i like the way she went with this. the brother felt her up. >> there had to be a shrink involved that sat down with her and talked to her about it and then it is like this repressed memory thing. and then all of a sudden this is why she killed her kid because she was touched by her parents, and there was no evidence. it is all to save her skin. bill, without unconditional love, you would be nowhere. my parents hey that there is an alcoholic gene somewhere in their body and passed it to me 10 fold. what if she is telling the truth though? that's the problem with being a pathological liar is you can be the girl who cried wolf. she may have lied about a bunch of other stuff, but telling the truth about this? >> about what. >> her dad maybe molest -- molested her. >> oh, in that case, kill your
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kid. >> the dad should be looked into. if somebody said -- if somebody accused me of molesting somebody my defense would not be no, sir, and that's what he said. i would have exclamation points. >> this guy has been through hell. he is probably medicated. he probably can't even believe this is happening. she is a monster. >> it is more than that. obviously this woman is completely mentally ill. i think she has border line personality disorder. she will do whatever it takes for her to accomplish her desire. she didn't want to be a no,her anymore. >> i don't understand why you had to bring madonna into this. "border line" is a great song. actually i didn't like that song. >> i loved it. >> really? >> you know what? screw you people. e-mail us. tell me your favorite madonna song. no, don't do that. leave a voicemail on my direct line. one day i will check.
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212-462-5050. coming up, the half time report by andy levey, a jerk. >> it is sponsored by robert sumo. they attempt to push themselves out of a circular arena. thanks, robot sumo.
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let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. now to andy levy.
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>> did you catch leno thursday night? >> yeah, right. >> he did this one joke. check it out. >> bad news for the state of california. supreme court decision will force the state to released 46,000 convicts because of prison overcrowding. but the good news? the oakland raiders will have more season ticket holders. the stadium will be packed. >> ?oot -- not bad? >> it sounded familiar to me. i was wracking my brain. i heard something just like it a couple days earlier like say late tuesday night or early wednesday morning. and then i figured it out. >> supreme court orders tens of thousands of california prisoners released this. actually might help the raiders start selling out their home games again. >> nicely done. their fans are criminals. >> wow, andy. i can't believe you traveled to the future and stole that joke from jay and then traveled back to tell it on "red eye." >> what is the point of having
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a time machine than to use it in the future. >> you could have traveled to the future when we had a cure for the common cold and brought the cure back. >> i would rather steel jokes from jay. >> that's your prerogative. i support you. >> i am actually now getting word that carlos mencia came up with this joke on tuesday. >> i am not saying jay leno stole a joke, i just want money. >> let's be honest here, guys. dorritos. professor, you don't see a problem with spanking, but if you as a parent don't want your kids spanked that's cool, but in a lot of cases the parents didn't know what was going on. >> you don't talk about everything that happens at recess or mention the math lesson or the principal put stye raw home on a hot stick.
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>> i know you tell kids not to tell parents what is going on with you. this is not cool with elementary schoolkids. >> that's where you draw the line. >> you know it is just white people doing it. >> well, nick you asked if the principal was rained by bernie perant. well, that is a hockey player. >> i didn't know who that was. >> i did that. i has been to be a season ticket holder. >> i love it. i love how you stereo type somebody on national tv. >> that section you might. >> nick, that is the first time you stereo typed somebody on tv. >> diana, you said you don't want a kid to go to the s and m club when he was in cool. -- school.
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after school is okay? >> as long as i am invited and he is supervised. my gained mother did that with me. whips and chains. >> the only person complaining was some gay guy. >> first of all, no, a bunch of parents complained. >> let's put their opinions in the paper too. why do we have to go to the gay couple who doesn't represent a normal segment of america. >> i worded that wrong. >> i thought 10 to 1 complaining about the -- >> no, we have to go to the gay couple because they represent a lot of people. >> you are all kinds of awful. >> you definitely did not see the hate campaign. >> i feel like it is yet to be offended. he is watching and waiting.
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>> is there a wheelchair segment coming up? >> i am going to move on now. >> all right. >> facebook group calls for saudi woman to be beaten. the group has been removed by facebook. >> "red eye" gets results. >> absolutely. unlike conservatives you said you believe in free speech so you don't believe we should ban this group? >> it is so facebook should take it down: >> as a facebook policy. it has nothing to do with sensorship. >> absolutely. i don't want it to be -- i don't want to put i hate andy levy on facebook. i can post-it and if pea don't like it they can stopwatching. >> >> it was called a cheap shot and no base sis in reality. >> i don't take cheap shots.
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>> i rest my case. diana, you corrected yourself. i believe outside of the bedroom he is fine with women calling him mark. >> my apologies. >> nick, you said with women don't need cars to make you a sandwich. >> no, not in this country. >> first of all, sexist pig and second of all, they have to get agrees res. >> see, nobody will jump all over on you. >> they pick them up from their high-powered position at the bank. >> nick, you don't think through your bigotry. >> we cut through the garbage and i am right. i cut to it. you are still playing your word games. you don't call a dog a dog and a cat a cat.
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>> was that directed toward me. >> nick, i don't think that was in i way -- that was 8 any directed to you. >> i know my rose. >> i have you here because you make excellent lemon squares. >> he does. >> diane you that, you said you do think language plays a big role in how you treat animals. even the term animal is abuse. >> it is not about animals being offended, it is about how we use language to understand better. if you are going to be cruel to an animal and think of them as a companion. >> what if you say, you are anal ma will in bed. -- an -- you are an animal in bed. >> here is the other thing.
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i took a look at this journal. and considering they are obsessed with language. they said, quote, unless we address the power of ms. description we shouldn't be able to think straight and see straight. >> they are putting animals before gays. >> lastly greg-alogue, casey anthony, where do you draw the line? i am not jumping on you. uncon unconditional love is not going away. i think once your daughter accuses you of sexually molesting her, the unconditional part is done. >> assuming it is a false accusation. >> it is. i called him. >> i am done. >> are you really? >> >> yes. >> go away then. as you know in the latest auction bill does, patrick pick pardon will do an extra work.
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let's see is owed? >> so how many was that? 10,000? >> 15. >> he said $20 a push up so that is $2 thus dab dash $200,0. i can't believe i can't do math. this is what happens when you are stupid. so this guy has to pay $200,000 to taps. >> you are welcome. coming up, what if you hatule white people except the ones who can throw a football? we discuss professor hill's new book, "i hate white people unless they are quarterbacks." first, what is going on here? if you stick around i will tell you about it, if you leave i will hunt you down and kill you.
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now arizona law enforcer arrested three employees on drug and human trafficking charges. they not only harbored them was playing a crucial role on moving the drugs and hiding the profits. one of these cops is pregnant with fellow suspect and drug cartel leader's baby. so romantic. he says, quote, a deputy sheriff would provide information and associate with drug and human traffickers is despicable. let's go to the tape of the press conference, people who go to things.
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>> that man will be our next president. let's discuss this, shall we? in our -- >> lightning roooound. lightning round. >> it never gets old. >> you are going to put him in as candidate, right? >> he is way too liberal. >> he doesn't go far enough. >> come on, what do you want me to say here? the problem is demand. that's why drugs are coming over the border. the demand is coming from where? charlie sheen's house. >> professor, does he have a point in drugs are the problem even when people who are fighting drugs are takening drugs and selling drugs? >> one we should legalize all drugs. >> here, here. >> and we should get rid of all prisons. none of this would happen. >> get rid of all prisons. >> i'm dead serious.
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>> is there a special island we would put the killers and rapists. >> yeah, manhattan. >> there are things we can do to handle killers and child molesters and rapists. >> it is a cheap shot at detroit, sir. >> and law enforcement who are come police sent are just showing that we can't trust the system. >> people in trouble for drug offenses is a waste of time. is the drug war pointless? >> no, i think we need to continue our war against drugs. it is dirty cops. i just so you -- saw this on law and order. >> law and order predicts the news. >> it is usually a couple days
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after it happens. >> it is like a jay leno joke. >> it is after, but somehow predicting. >> it goes back to the stupid time machines. they screw up everybody's day. the new law and order which is the tmu, time machine unit and for some reason white people believe they are victims of race etch. they asked why over 200 blocks and 200 whites how much racial discrimination they have had since the 1950s. they think the anti-white bias has increased and anti-black bias decreased. >> i'm sorry, i'm running late, sir, i'm sorry. >> i thought you were going to throw it at me. >> here you go, bill, i'm sorry. >> by the way, i did ask you to wear a white coat.
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>> you missed a spot. >> as a klans-man, what do you think? >> they wear the ugly outfits. >> get on with it. what was your question? >> i didn't have one. >> how can you argue the promise? if you don't believe go ask the firefighters, the san francisco firefighters. there are 19,000 other cases to breng up. -- to bring up. >> you want him getting fired? >> what happened to your spree speech. >> i am for free speech. >> no, you are not. >> i have -- no, i went to boycott his network. it is not racist.
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>> he said nap pea headed hoe and he should get fired. >> it is a wrong approach dealing with a problem. >> before it is institutional liesed. >> you know who the biggest affirmative action, rich white people whose wairnts went to the -- whose parents went to the school. do you think donald trump got into ledge because he was smart? >> black people do not have legacies because they were slaves. >> how long are you going to hang your hat on that? >> as long as i can. what are you talking about? >> that's the poicht. >> i see no 40 acres and no mule. >> if i was black i i would do that too. but blacks will never believe that racism is equal. you will hang your hat on that
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for the next thousand years. and everybody knows white america agrees with me. vote for me now. it is me or guiliani. if you want to get any of the pamphlets he sells them off the back of the truck. >> you didn't say anything racist. >> i love you. time for another break. do we have to go to a break? we can keep arguing. >> remember to check out the new pod cast. there is a no one every kay. go to fox news radio .com and click on "red eye." you have to do this. we are second behind fox news in all pod casts and we want to beat them. we talked about lots of stuff i can't remember. boy, that was a sell.
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the other day on a new york city subway, this happened.
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>> this must have been hard to see derrick so soon after the breab up. -- break up. >> i just did the push ups. you had to ruin everything. let's call this what it is. board, unemployed people. >> it is to the flash mobs. it is board, unemployed people. >> are we becoming a country that enjoys show offs? that's the idea of a flash mob. >> i don't what chick -- all i ask for is a chick with nice breasts. why do i have to see a guy? >> you just spoke for 50% of america. >> a girl found a guy masterbating himself on the subway. if you see a beating taking place, put down the camera and help the guy. >> i condemn what he said. >> it that happened on the subway wouldn't you pelt him with garbage? >> i wouldn't be on the subway.
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there are poor people there! but no, i wouldn't. i think it is cool. actually it is exciting to see people dance, have fun, get loose. i wouldn't do it, but i don't mind watching people. >> it would make me nervous. >> i am more worried about the mexican guys with the guitars that ask more money. it has nothing to do with being to mexicans. >> no i enjoy it. they are giving something to the atmosphere. >> you can play a guitar in public. >> it is like the odd couplement -- couple. >> there is a tv show that needs to be on a 5:00 on fox. it is nick and the professor. >> how about the professor and the racist? >> i am not a professor. >> how did this happen? there is a show that supposed to be on at 5:00 and it is called "red eye" with greg gutfeld. no, that was just a jokement.
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>> i am not a professor. >> all right. so since he lost his job a lot of people have been wondering what the heck is keith olberman up to? >> well, like a lot of unemployed wanderers the first thing to go is your fashion sense. >> give him two weeks he will be wearing a cape. don't knock it until you try. it this is what happens when you don't go to work every day. we will close things out for andy levy. go to
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back to andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> diana, where can single male and female soldiers go to get dating advice? >> my wing man . diana .com. happy memorial day. >> excellent. besides 1957, where can people catch your act? >> great joke. the improve, fort lauderdale, june 15th to 19th. if you vote republican come see me. >> what did you say to me? >> i didn't say anything. >> i'm not sure if you want to go to fort lauderdale after saying that. >> professor, if you secretly love white people, don't be there. >> i am done, greg. >> is e


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